Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
