No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In America we eat man semen.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
