I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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