4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
