As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
