I wish my penis had an off switch
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
