He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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