Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
