Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The air taste purple.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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