just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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