I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
