I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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