therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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