Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
