Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
