does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
