party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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