when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
