i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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