My cat gives me a boner
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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