my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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