I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
