I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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