Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
