I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize