I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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