We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize