I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize