And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
