We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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