I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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