why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
