I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize