i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
