Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
