i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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