I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I intend to get homeless drunk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
