I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
