You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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