umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
