I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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