I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
