So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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