i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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