so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
