I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
