Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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