what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
