quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
