I think scott just propositioned me for sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
