By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
