So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
