The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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