My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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