Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
