The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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