Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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