Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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